I lol at life

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monobeartheater:

verylittlebird:

a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.

what the fuck

aryastakres:

quixoticideals:

I TOLD MY DAD TO CHILL
AND HE SAID “I AM CHILL”
AND I SAID “I THOUGHT U WERE DAD”
I DAD JOKED MY DAD
I AM THE REVOLUTION

hello revolution im dad

warsquirtle:

Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life

(Source: wartortles)

oneshotfinch:

this show kept it real

531-8008:

Look how sad he looks. He just wants to sleep but his farts are too loud:(

531-8008:

Look how sad he looks. He just wants to sleep but his farts are too loud:(

(Source: shity-blog)

(Source: bamfneblake)

(Source: jockalot)

ostolero:

dogs deserve to live forever

d0nn0:

jxydx:

Imagine a world where dogs do not exist………

no

(Source: jayda95)

(Source: hoechlin-obrien)